Vagina Monologue08@HK

-Gloria X

I was standing in the dark control room looking down from the window watching Kate doing dozens of different moans in front of the audience. All people were laughing back and forth.

I laughed with worship and awe. It is difficult. It is with sweat, a contributing heart and an open vagina.

Kate actually lost her voice in the first performance on Friday. She worried that she couldn’t make part of the moans.
“What about a Chinese moan instead?” A lady suggested.
“What’s a Chinese moan like?” They turned to me.
“Well, I don’t know.” I winked.
How could I know? Guess won’t be in English, or maybe they don’t moan?
We all laughed.

Physically, I know nothing about sex. Neither most girls of my age who haven’t got married in mainland China.
Or…did I underestimate their open vaginas since China is now a so-called “Reformed and Open Society”?

I never know. We won’t talk.


“You can never have a good sex.” My friend said to me with in semi-drunk mind in a bar, as I told him virginity is something vital for a traditional Chinese marriage.
I didn’t say anything, with a suspicious smile on my face.
Well, even if you try a lot before marriage, it is like gambling, 50-50, the worst luck is 0-100.
He suddenly leaned closer and whispered in my ear.
“Did you masturbate?”
“No…”
“That’s weird.”
I burnt into laughter. Fortunately he was talking to a Chinese girl like me who is open to mix-culture, or he might have been slapped on the face with a sin called “sexual harassment”.
We didn’t go further discussion with that. No need to. Even I explained, even a guy who is quite experienced and well-educated in school could never understand when he is not in a woman’s shoes.
Even I never understand myself very well, not mentioned the understanding with other women.
That’s how the sexual attraction comes from. Life is boring. We need exploration, we need surprise. We are all curious.
And some women were invaded in their land of saint in this process.
That’s why we do Vagina Monologue.


Vagina, vagina, vagina.
I can speak this word for thousands of time without feeling embarrassment in English. Instead with my major background, I think its syllables pronounce so harmonic and beautiful, a perfect combination of a labial, a pouting and a dental sound.
My mother tongue is not English, some words to me, are less than what they mean.
The translation in Chinese sounds very medical and scientific, and we don’t usually see these two characters except some illegal flyers for private clinics posted on the wall.

Language is something related to life embedded with strong emotions. Vocabulary itself is meaningless. The true meaning is between the lines.
That’s where your heart echoes and punches with.

That’ why the drama are so popular and fabulous and meaningful even all you see on stage are some women talking about their own stories.

The vagina is between your legs, while the monologue is in your heart. You are waiting someone to say it and follow and talk.

I took out the Teddy Bear, opening its legs, looked deep into it with my right eyes, to explain what a 6-year-old girl’s understanding:
“Somewhere deep inside it has a really really smart brain.”

Audience laughed.

Of course you see nothing between the legs of the Teddy Bear.
Most probably you won’t be forced to shave your pubic hair by a husband who screws around;
Most probably you won’t be abstinent and had cancer there;
Most probably you haven’t been tortured by your little boy friend when 7 years old, by your father’s friend when 10 years old, and became a lesbian;
Most probably you won’t be raped by 7 soldiers for days in a war;
Most probably you won’t be a sex worker who only worked for women
Most of us are having a peaceful life without starvation and pain.
But we all see it, hear it and feel it between the lines, with our own stories told in our hearts.
During nearly 2 hours, the emotions vibrated and mixed deep inside, we laughed, we kept silent, we cried, we hugged, we screamed, we hugged, we applause.
The vagina has you. It has all of us.

That’s why we all came together.


From Dec 07 to Mar 08, 4 complete months. We started from zero and reached HKD$70,000 for HK refugee women.

It was absolutely not an easy process. Under the lead of B and Danielle, meetings, looking for sponsorship, venue, publicities, starting launch party, crawl for a cause, talented night, exhibition, rehearsals and official performances, with tons of emails.

But we made it. The baby is beautiful in our hands.

The last time we shouted “Vday Team, Go vagina go” while on stage with a bow to audience, with roses in our hands, we realized how powerful we are.

And I was lost again there in thoughts. Clearly remembered the first time, I met all these ladies, I saw another Kate moaning at the roof of Fringe Club. She moaned and all laughed. A gentleman at the next table suddenly shouted,
Hey are you girls insane?
More laughters.
But at that moment I felt frustrated and shamed. What the hell is that? Doing moans in an open area? Something I thought only happened in X-rated movies; even that would be only watched in private rooms.

But now all I could remind of is all these beautiful words in “I was there in the room”:

"The heart is capable of sacrifice.
So is the vagina.
The heart is able to forgive and repair.
It can change its shape to let us in.
It can expand to let us out.
So can the vagina.
It can ache for us and stretch for us, die for us
and bleed and bleed us into this difficult, wondrous world.
I was there in the room.
I remember."


I do. And I never feel that proud of myself.

Best wishes for all the ladies all over the world.

Big thank-yous for all people who was with us, are with us, and will be with us.

xG.