Before Sunrise, Before Sunset

I finished reading the script of Before Sunshine and Before Sunset non-stop in 4 days.

I saw both movies 3 years ago. The lines are still familiar. Those scenes replayed in my brain with the detailed description of Location Notes. between the space of Celine and Jesse’s conversations, I carefully weighed up my change with my fingers rubbing against the rim of the pages.

I did change as expected.

Three years ago, I was thinking, if there is a man I can walk and talk with without feeling bored a whole day, it would be definitely a wonderful memory of life.

Three years after, however, when seeing Winnie quoted: “to seek for a good partner, most importantly, you can talk with him/her quietly without feeling tired within hours.” I could help leaving my comments.

These comments are mostly some thoughts after reading the script, also part of my change of mind lead by a lot of things happened to me. I share with all of you.


Comment I: About Talk

“I feel more and more blur about the line between friendship and relationship. So far in my life there is more than one man who can be talked with within hours, how can they all be my partners? You cannot guarantee the next minute whether you will be sick of his words, or vice versa. And just because you lack of time and communication, you will cherish the time to talk; if talking every day, you won’t be in that mood. "

Two lonely travelers from two different cultural backgrounds, young and good-looking, met in an unfamiliar and beautiful city along their journey. They both loved pondering, had more or less dissatisfactions and expectations towards the world; they were both good at talking and even knew the time limit would be 1 day only, it would be a miracle if the movie wouldn’t touch you in such a perfect setting. Just because of 1 day only, this affection had no attachment of chores and troubles in life; oppositely, in the comparables of reality and beautification of memories, it kept on expanding and became an autography, which has kept for 10 years.

Actually it is the force of time and environment. Hong Kong is happened to be one of those cities, with cultural mix and temporary settlement; most people are stuck in business and loneliness. It seems full and luxurious but empty and panic. And we are all grown-ups, not kids who could cry for a candy. Many people want to vent and let off without knowing from where and to whom. Even when you are willing to talk, others might probably too busy to listen; you are willing to listen, others might probably dare not to say.

In some spectacular situations, starting from some negligible topics and shifting into a serious one, and it happened a man and a woman who are both willing to listen and talk, this conversation can last more than 2 hours, followed with a SMS, MSN, FB, Email or sth. after saying calling it an end.

A lot of male friends would like to listen to me but I am not willing to talk, a number of them would like to talk with me but I am not that interested listening, some are willing to talk and I am willing to listen to but refuse to talk. Counted with my conscious, I have 3-5 male friends we can talk and listen to each other, with 1 to several conversations. They have different relationship status, from different families, classes and countries, but they all have the sensitivity for life from unique perspectives.

The premise of a good talk with a man, is that you should have mutual attractions but no lechery in you. I have to admit the male Hormone, but showing some weird expression in eyes or change the meaning of the topics soon after started, or later sending some disturbing SMS or MSN, sorry, I don’t think we are on the same boat. I hide from you in order to be polite; an emotional person like me will probably use the 3rd finger and 4-letter words when not pleased.

A few great talks have deepened my thoughts and unleashed my ties, like some unknown fragrance, inhaled into my soul. These friends are those I will cherish forever, I maybe say to them for my shyness, but did tattoo in my heart.

Sometimes I also fear that our friendships would be distant for being busy, would be expired or disappeared for being separated someday. Someday, some reasons, our conversations cannot continue anymore. If it does happen, at least something will be remembered in mind, even without noticed.

What will we be in ten years? From now on how many close male friends will I have? Which one might become my partner some day, or zero?

There’s no what-if and cannot say what-if. Time will tell.

Comment II: About Marriage

“And this is basically my view on marriage, a color-faded and broken red thread you endeavor to hold it together, exhausting.”

The background setting of Before Sunset-Jesse got married and had a boy, Celine was still single. A free American youngster who was “Designed to be dissatisfy with everything”, was forced to get married because of the baby and well-behaved, but complained inside; a romantic French girl who worshiped love, turned into an independent green fighter, while disappointed from one relationship after another. They both regarded One Night as their life treasure.

Destiny made a joke on them-couldn’t meet on the appointed date, no any contacts, used to live only 2 streets away in NYC without running into each other. 10 years later they met in Paris, the mutual memory has become a best-seller, a love Waltz, and a comparable to reality. From some extent, they have never separated, like a fuse keeping on burning after blowing off the fire, till the end with an explosion.

Ten years. They both changed, for compromise of life and exhaustion of maturity. They are cautious with their behaviors and words, covering their inside emptiness and desire for each other with seeming happy lives.

But Jesse didn’t give up. His passion was lit on after ten years, endeavor to seek for the current romance he has lost for long. The vain waiting in the Vienna Train Station, the sudden meet-up in Paris, from the Shakespeare & Co.Bookstore to the Le Pure Café to la Promenade Plantée, on the boat, in the car and at Celine’s apartment. He gave up the flight home. He sat on the sofa and laughed at Celine’s dance, holding his left hand up and briefly twirls his wedding ring with his left thumb.
“Baby, you are gonna miss…the…plane….”
“I know.”
Céline continues her dance as the scene fades to black. The movie ended without the end of the story.

What happened after that is no more important. I feel sorry for Jesse’s wife, who was more trivial than a One Day memory ten-year ago, even only a substitute of a beautiful shadow? Meanwhile Celine kept on complaining all her ex-boyfriends asked her out and thanked her for teaching them how to love a woman.

In the movie our eyes all followed Jesse and Celine, we forgot other people and the story out of the story.

Inside and outside marriage the besieged city walk too many survivors. How many of us look pale after taking off the mask?

Don’t know why I feel so horrible and negative about marriage.

A junior high school gathering. Many of my ex-classmates were married and even had kid(s), I felt extremely terrified instead of being jealous;

Met a good high school friend who gave up her career chance and followed her bf after graduation. I felt happy but also worried about her the day I saw the couple. Her bf’s health condition is not that ideal after an illness, dark and too skinny. I txt her after coming back to HK, saying I was worrying about her and the guy she is going to marry; she replied saying she worried about my singledom, “once over 30, you are done.”

All of a sudden I realized we had already walked on two completely different paths, with different views, different thoughts, different values, too difficult to discuss on this problem deeper.
As long as she feels happy.

In my hometown where I had lived for 18 years, she is a woman, I am a freak. A simple golden rule there: All women should be married and give birth, serve their husbands and educate their kids. Unmarried women are all unwanted, married women without kids are all not capable to have kid; unmarried men are all have physical problems; divorced couples are all have personality spots or healthy problems.

For many women, marriage in a receipt. A relationship based on money once has that piece of paper, she will have a 50% account even signing another; a real relationship with that piece of paper seems like a lifetime promise. The point is, a man who would change and betray you, he will. He is not linked to that paper; he would love to sign again if needed. Are all you have given up for marriage worthwhile? Do you have other tools for survival once without the marriage?

For me, marriage is a shoulder pole with two heavy coffers at both ends. Family and career, beauty and health, wife and mother, right and compromise, freedom and constraint, all together to carry for a woman to the end of life.

People who fear and doubt about marriage, are those who will seriously spend time to think about relationship and future, who will seriously treat their and their partners’ life. Think before taking action, once they make up their mind, they will carry on and go straight forward without regret.

The first scene of Before Sunrise, a German couple were quarrelling on the train, which was also the topic they talked. Jesse successfully persuaded Jesse getting off the train with the topic of Marriage, too.

Jesse: “ Alright, alright. Think of it like this. Umm-uh, jump ahead, ten, twenty years, okay, and you're married. Only your marriage doesn't have that same energy that it used to have, you know. You start to blame your husband. You start to think about all those guys you've met in your life, and what MIGHT have happened if you'd picked up with one of them, right? ”
(Céline starts laughing a bit.)
Jesse: “Well, I'm one of those guys. (Points at himself.) That's me, you know, so think of this as time travel, from then, to now, uh, to find out what you're missing out on. See, what this really could be is a gigantic favor to both you and your future husband, to find out that you're not missing out on anything. I'm just as big a loser as he is, totally unmotivated, totally boring, and, uh, you made the right choice, and you're really happy. ”

And he was trapped in marriage after all, becoming his own punch line years later.

I always believe, that there’s no lifetime love but lifetime responsibility. When passion fades away, taking care of each other becomes a habit, a good habit, a successful marriage.

And kid becomes a chip. Recently a new word came into the Webster-a Band-aid Baby. Very vivid, it means a kid that maintains the swinging relationship, just like a Band-aid, covering the bleeding wound.

And wound of love would never recover, even it skins over, it will be a scar with different color.

The wedding day will be a dream to all women, which is my positive thinking for marriage. One day, I might be trapped and become my own punch line.

After all, I am a woman.


Comment III: About Attraction

“It is better to keep some distance off with the one you like. Both of your magnetic fields can attract and repulse each others, till the day your forces neutralize. The feeling is gone.”

If it wasn’t Celine’s grandmother’s funeral that day, they would have met in the Vienna Train Station after 6 months. And then maybe as what they thought, “they start to get to know each other better and they realize that they don't get along at all. ”
I fear so.
I like one person, far more than LIKE. The first time I am being that honest to myself.
I can fall in love with everything, simply because some great feeling running through my veins in a blink of an eye, or a smile dancing on my face which I cannot resist of.
Everything except man.
I admit that I am a rational cold fish. The affection usually a woman has plus 10 times can only speed my heartbeat 1 second.
It took me 3 seasons to understand my feeling.
Within this period we only had a few meet-ups and conversations-peaceful, relaxing and happy. The last time we talked, I found a lot in common.
Within this late period for time we haven’t met, I have been always wondering what he was up to, who he is meeting and talking, and if he might think of me sometimes.
I feel sad for an unknown answer. Some desire inside made me annoyed, mean and self-depressed.
I don’t like the ME who lost the ability to judge. I don’t wanna lose a friendship for some outrageous emotions for love.
Be natural. Enjoy the respective freedom, go our own ways, no bother, till next time our paths cross.
I don’t believe sort of “Never give up”, “You have to try” slogans. Yes, you can rely on yourself for many things, except this. A single palm can never applause.
Maybe I am just a steel wire wrapped in rounds, being attracted by a magnetic field. I am in a mess because I have no magnetic force at all.
But, once stick together, you will never go farther for repulsiveness.
Don’t know since when I am not persistent anymore. Still I am impatient and efficient, just…for some emotions I hardly handle inside, I stepped on and ground them with my high heel.
Simplicity is beauty, distance produced beauty. Meeting someone in your life makes a beautiful memory.


Misc

Quoted some critics, “A twin movie that fit for those who haven’t destroyed the bloom of love for life.”

Jesse and Celine in Before Sunshine were the same age as we are, when we are deeply touched by the pure communication; however, in Before Sunset, life changed them a lot, only the perfect memory remains. 10 years later, we should sigh and sob for destiny as well.

But something that once happened in our life and hided in our heart will never gone. You always lack of time to tidy them up, you always need a coincidence to review the past.

3 years. For something trivial, I found my life is surprisingly familiar with the movie, I coincidently picked up the script;
How long will be the next coincidence?

All, time will tell, before sunshine and sunset.