Time to...Say goodbye...(Chi.&Eng.)

28 June

在一個燈紅酒綠，車水馬龍的國際都市，這是必須面對的現實。
不管幾天前是不是一起吃過晚飯聊過喜歡的電影和旅行，不管周末是不是還一起在Dancehall Happy Hour Shake your ass off，不管幾個小時之前是不是還如多年不見的老朋友擁抱過，不管前段日子是不是還一起在海灘弄溼過，不管是不是在郵輪在公車在不同的交通工具上用不同的語言一起旁若無人地笑過，不管是不是在flat裏打過牌玩過Wii煮過東西，不管是不是穿過馬路時偶然對望一個會意的微笑，不管是不是在Facebook,MSn，不同的網絡上浪費時閒做些有意義與無意義的事情......

不管什麽記憶，永久的短暫的，有一天當你起床看香港早晨，經過金鈡中環擠進地鐵到辦公室時，你看到墻上的日曆，知道今天，又將是有一個人需要say Goodbye，數不清第幾個，也許不願意去數。

這就是國際城市裏的故事。分別的時候，只是揮一揮手，打個招呼，send個短信，甚至什麽都沒有說，飛機票時刻一定，拖大包小包，走過香港國際機場的hall,看到有一個家庭在享受Buffett，很用心地笑一笑，聽到登機的廣播，頭也不回地走向Boarding。

未來，異地，不同人種, 不同故事，只是時間地點人物有著太多太多的不確定性，我們無法把握，不知道是否會進行得比原來好，但是我們必須前進。也許我們的軌道有重合的一天，也許即將如幾條平行綫向無窮盡延伸，我們都必須學會去接受。

我把這一切的一切叫做一年之癢。一年，在這個城市裏，是一個起點，是一個終點；痛倒未必，癢還是有的，只是當生活如表面這華麗的袍，爬滿了蝨子的時候，我不知道怎麽去抓，該從哪抓起，爲了顔面不願意脫下來去抓，於是，給自己一個響亮的巴掌轉移注意力。

打得很痛，眼淚都要掉出來了，但是還是要微笑。既然擺在面前的是改變不了的事實，那就不要讓自己遺憾。誰知道，什麽時候，哪一個人會在走向未來的時候，突然回頭？那一秒，將是永恒。

Farewell, all my dearest friends, 我會在每個我想象中遠去的背影，像Elizabeth Town的Kirsten Dunst一樣，用雙手擺出相機的姿勢，哢嚓一聲，留住最後的背影。

-dedicate to someone who leaves me today, who has never walked into my life.

In an international metropolis full of Debauchery and fast lanes, there’s some reality you have to face with.

You had different comments on your favorite movies and trips at the dinner table days ago; you had happy hours together at the dance floor shaking your ass off; you hugged like life friends who haven’t met for ages hours ago; you poured sea water to each others along the beach; you communicated in different kinds of languages with code-switching on the ferry on the bus and laughed out loud; you played UNO and Wii and cooked together in the flat; your eyes met unexpectedly and smiled while crossing the road; you spent time together on Facebook, MSN and other networks…

No matter what memories you have, long-term or short-term, one day when you wake up and watch Good Morning HK, pushing your way in and out of MTR to Admiralty or Central office, you see the calendar on the wall, and you realize that today another person is leaving. Cannot remember the number, or rather, too reluctant to.

This is the day-after-day story in an international metropolis. Farewell only means a wave of hand, a See-Ya, a SMS, or even nothing. When a flight arrives and time comes, you drag your luggage, going through the hall of HK international airport. In the corner of your eye you see a family enjoying buffet time.

You grin. Suddenly the boarding broadcasting wakes your ears. You go towards the departure door without turning around.

Future, locations, races, stories. Where, when, and who. There’re too many uncertainties about all above. We cannot handle, we have the faintest idea of whether it would be better than the past and now, but we have to move on. Perhaps our paths will cross some day, or they expand infinitely like parallels without a meeting point, we all have to, learn to accept it.

I call all of these THE ITCHING OF ONE YEAR. ONE YEAR, in this city, is a beginning and ending point. Like a mosquito’s bite, not seriously hurt, but itching and uncomfortable.

Life is a luxurious and delicate Chi-pao, with external grace however full of lice inside. I am wearing it. I feel extraordinarily itching. I don’t know how to scratch, from where to, and too embarrassed to strip. Therefore, I slap myself on the face like a bitch to distract the attention.

And it really hurts. My tears fill my eyes, yet I have to smile. Since in front of me lies the unchangeable reality, I shall not leave myself any more regrets. Who knows, that who, all of a sudden, will turn around and see my face while going towards his/her future? Then he/she can leave with satisfaction. That moment should be immortal in our memories.

Farewell, all my dearest friends. I will be a Kirsten Dunst in Elizabeth Town, holding an invisible camera in hands, KA-KA, saving the Kodak moment of your backs before fading away, just in my imagination.

My eyes moisted.