A message from an unfamiliar gal

He opened his E-mail box and found an unread msg lying quietly in the inbox. It was sent days ago. He looked at the name, someone he could dimly recalled in his memory, met for several times. Business greeting or sth.

He read:

"Dear XX,


I don't know how soon you are gonna read this. But PLS FINISH IT. It took me ages and tons of courage to decide making this drunk-dialing.

I guess I have a confession to make. Since the first time I met you, I just couldn't explain my feeling on you, for the first time of my life.

I can still remember the number: up to now, we've met for 5 times, and talked less than 10 complete sentences, even myself felt ridiculous about what went wrong with me.

The first time was in the Familiarization tour when I happened to sit next to you during a lunch. I tried to break the ice but you seemed to cool to talk, you didn’t look at me. I was a bit disappointed but I didn’t care much at that moment. If time could be turned back, I really wish that were the only time I saw you. I didn’t even know your name.

It took nearly 8 months till our path crossed again. I took a glance round at the lecture hall and I saw you. It was like seeing an old friend who I haven’t met for ages. I tried to talk to you again but I couldn’t even find any topic. This time you smiled and nodded. I remembered your name.

That night we went out but you didn’t show up. Disappointed again, even more than the first time.

And one week later in xx’s flat you showed up by chance. We shook hand (really funny); I was still struggling for topic but still couldn’t get one. It rarely happened to me when I communicated with people. But everything went the wrong track. Suddenly I felt like someone else. With you was a one-sentence conversation this time, however making process and satisfying enough. From then on, I had this little secret inside.

Then it was the company dinner. I was standing right in front of you but the gentleman I was talking to kept on talking so long that I couldn’t turn around. It sounds really funny now but that moment was like a year for me. Eventually with S’s unconscious help I opened the chatting box. And you just couldn’t imagine how excited I was when seeing we were in the same table. I was impressed by the way you talked and behaved. I couldn’t take my eyes off you. True. And it broke the record that I finally had a conversation of more than 5 mins after the dinner. And you did remember my name, which was a big surprise.

And after that I was trapped in great agony. I knew I was such a loser; I didn’t even try and thought it would be a doom for granted. Nobody will care someone who are just randomly met and rarely talk to. It did happen to me by no reason.

I feel like knowing you so long before. For me you should be very independent and always stick to your dreams and looking for achievements. You might sense you are different from others and try your best to melt into the group. You stick to what you think is right and wrong. Talented, idealist, love freedom, change, and traveling.

Or maybe you are not. I don’t know. But I prefer to believe my sixth sense.

The last time was at xxx. I didn’t know you were there too. Still, feeling too strange to start any topic and even say Hi. I hated that ME. And I guess that is why I never succeeded carrying on even just being friends, I screwed it up.

I finally got a chance to say hello but you talked like the first time we met. So distant and remote. This time I was frustrated. It implied that it was going to an end, although it had never started. I even was of a little bit comfort that you are soon away to another country. Time and distance flow everything away. Will it work this time?

F called last night but I decided not going. And I decided to let you know. I wrote to you because I had never expected anything from you, then I had nothing to lose. I wrote because I decided to give up. All I want is a rejection which had been already known to help me move on. I was like a joker in this stupid relationship I set for myself.

And I really wanna thank you, although you may know nothing about the story. But it helps me to grow. For me it will be a bittersweet memory, which I might think of in my latter path, like an incredible novel, I thought it only happened in the movie but it happened to me. No matter who I will meet later, you were the one. No need to feel sorry for me, I will be fine after you read this.

A used to say to me indifferently, “You are not even friends!” It was like a knife stabbing into the heart because it is the reality and truth, so cruel that I couldn’t sleep and have cried for nights after hearing something I rejected to listen to. But I have to face the truth. If we could be friends, that’s enough, no matter where we are going to be. I was thinking sending this to you after you leave, but I am afraid my courage will soon fade away. If I will meet you again during this coming month, I will come up and say hi. I hope so. 

I am so sure that you will make achievements in your career and your dream of flying. Will be there with all my best wishes and would be happy to share anything if you would like to, or maybe you wouldn’t.

I guess you won’t forget this time, I bet this is the longest message you have had received, feeling like writing an essay, haha…

Take care, and all the best.

Yours,
xxx

22:59, 18th June 2007"


He was a little bit surprised, unexpected. He tried to recall those meet-ups in his brain but it was so blur and far away. Should he write back?






She opened her E-mail box and found an unread msg lying quietly in the inbox, Today. She looked at the name, she has been waiting for this moment for a whole week. She hesitated, she walked around the room, she sat down, opened it. After all,sth. she had to face with. She knew it wouldn't be any miracles, however in the deepest part of her heart some tiny hope exists.

She read:

"Hi, that is quite a long message! I did read it all though.

It’s quite a surprise to read, and you flatter me in part. Don't take it personally I don't say much or that I am not very proactive making friends-it does aggravate quite a few people, friends and others, but I am content staying independent and so usually only speak if I have something worth saying.

Next time paths cross I'll try to make a point of saying hi, but I’m committed to my independence and not entering any relationships. Relax and take it easy.

All the best"



She smiled. Nothing surprising, nothing unexpected. He is really the one she thought he is, the one in common with her, the one who had done sth. similiar as she had done before to someone else. What could she expect for more? At least he replied, putting an end, giving her the answer she would like to have. She would like to have this, she kept on telling herself.


She clicked the REPLY:


"Fortunately you replied...released that I didn't cause any trouble for u...lol

Then u r really what I think you are --"For me you should be very independent and always stick to your dreams and looking for achievements. You stick to what you think is right and wrong. Talented, idealist, love freedom, change, and traveling. "

I totally undertand this kind of life style 'cause I am always very independent and never get into any relationship either, and maybe that's why I see sth. in common. But a little bit fortune telling, one day u will rely on sb. for some reason, don't tell me wrong or right, time will tell. :)

I guess this is the best answer I wanna hv. Really appreciate it and no worries, I am relaxed and continue my independent life as usual.

Take care."


That was her first time, calling an end to the story, before it started. She knew both of them has made the right decisions. Maybe years later, he will regret, or maybe not; maybe years later she would find out it was not love but blur feeling at all, but it will be a bittersweet memory, craving in the bottom of her heart.

-the end