I woke up with a swollen face since I drank too much water before sleep last night, and as expected, it is not a very happy day.
Days of reckoning should have begun, followed by a few days’ self-esteem and courage and it is time to depress since I have already used up my petrol and no more for refill recently.
It is exactly like I looked in the mirror the morning and saw my swollen face, which I was really not very happy with. Perhaps it is a sense of shame and regrets that is present within me based on what had happened of the past that still linger close behind me. I know I should end it up, and I am trying to, but I don’t know how patient and confident I could keep for my rainy days.
This shadow of insecurity continues to dwell in my life, and it is temporary, I will work through these feelings and identify the root of the problem, soon.
My swollen face gets back to normal after an espresso.
So will I.
Friday, September 12, 2008
Dream and Reality
--- Re-watching Breakfast@Tiffany’s
Sometimes, simply because of one sentence, one commercial, one dialogue, one picture or something, you will suddenly discover your little dreams, which you have kept deep inside of you for long worrying that it would deteriorate while being exposed in the air.
You start to assume, that if I had kept on pursuing them regardless of anything in all those years, what kind of reality would be now in front of me?
Even in fantasy-only, your passion grows a pair of pure wings.
Then you see the inconvenient truth in the mirror. You start to feel blue, lamenting for the distance between your dreams and reality, sighing for choices of life you have already made, which were not what you really want to, but only choices made with mature ration forced by life. You can never spend your freedom, wildness and carelessness with no limitations like what you as a teen.
Those teen days, which were compared to only a piece of white paper, yet so beautiful and sparkling that you cannot resist looking back from time to time even the dazzle burns your eyes.
Now, dreams can only placed in the display window at Tiffany’s, when I feel heartbroken or moody, I will walk myself on the empty street and appreciate them through the glass, then make a satisfied and graceful smile, waving goodbye and again, stepping into my reality.
-xG.
Sometimes, simply because of one sentence, one commercial, one dialogue, one picture or something, you will suddenly discover your little dreams, which you have kept deep inside of you for long worrying that it would deteriorate while being exposed in the air.
You start to assume, that if I had kept on pursuing them regardless of anything in all those years, what kind of reality would be now in front of me?
Even in fantasy-only, your passion grows a pair of pure wings.
Then you see the inconvenient truth in the mirror. You start to feel blue, lamenting for the distance between your dreams and reality, sighing for choices of life you have already made, which were not what you really want to, but only choices made with mature ration forced by life. You can never spend your freedom, wildness and carelessness with no limitations like what you as a teen.
Those teen days, which were compared to only a piece of white paper, yet so beautiful and sparkling that you cannot resist looking back from time to time even the dazzle burns your eyes.
Now, dreams can only placed in the display window at Tiffany’s, when I feel heartbroken or moody, I will walk myself on the empty street and appreciate them through the glass, then make a satisfied and graceful smile, waving goodbye and again, stepping into my reality.
-xG.
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